I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches
I cried myself to sleep every night for ten years until I found out that some cunt had stuffed my pillow with onions.
What did the letter O say to Q?
Dude, your dick is hanging out.
I just went to McDonalds, I said, "Could i have a Fillet O Fish for my Wife?"
Guy said "Sorry we don't do swaps".
Statistically speaking. Having To many birthdays will eventually kill you....
"Dear, why are there broken condoms on our couch?"
"Dave... would you please call our children by their names."
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