Wanderers Witzebude reloaded: 06

The missus came home steaming drunk last night. "You up for some role play action, babe?" She asked with a wink.
"Not really." I replied.
"Oh, come on." She said. "We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want."
Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her expression change. She had realised her mistake, however it was too late. Where I had previously seen arousal in her eyes, I now saw only blind terror.
As I shouted "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" and kicked her down the stairs.

Dumpfbackenforum: Ich glaub' das war's

R.I.P. Irlandforum

... oder die Luft ist raus! Seit der Umstellung auf die neue Forensoftware, gibet auch einen neuen Administrator und endlich auch einen Moderator bzw. Moderatorin. Soweit so gut. Die neuen Admin/Mods sind neutral, d.h. sie gehören weder zur einen, noch zur anderen Fraktion. Themen, Meinungen, die nicht ins Bild passen werden moderiert, ggfls. gelöscht. Irlandbildchen, Reisegeschichtchen und vor allem Werbung dürfen weiterhin gepostet werden. Alles schön brav und steril.

Nur was passiert jetzt? Antwort: nichts. Oder anders gesagt: das Dumpfbackenforum ist tot! Für mich hat sich das Thema so gut wie erledigt. Ich glaub auch nicht, dass sich da in Zukunft was tun wird. Öde Langeweile.

Denn: egal wie Scheiße das alte Dumpfbackenforum auch war, es hatte seinen Charme. Das war der Grund warum ich und viele andere so viele Jahre mit dabei waren. Jetzt ist es nur ein Forum.

Die Dumpfbacken wollten es so.

Halloween der dritten Art

Googelt man nach Petra Dubilski, bekommt man u.a. folgendes Bild:

Bisher habe ich Petra noch nicht persönlich kennengelernt. Jetzt weiß ich aber ungefähr wie sie aussieht ...

Wanderers Witzebude reloaded: 05

After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, English scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the English, in the weeks that followed, Scottish scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read; Scottish archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the English.

One week later, Irish newspapers reported the following: After digging as deep as 5000 meters in a County Mayo bog, Irish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Ireland's inhabitants were already using wireless technology.

Wanderers Witzebude reloaded: 04

Der Wanderer ist zurück aus den Bergen Irlands und hat ein kleines Bündel Fragen mitgebracht. Die wichtigste Frage lautet:

Wann hast du zum letzten Mal den Pimmel geküsst?

Wanderers Witzebude reloaded: 03

Archaeologists have just found an ancient book that had been lost for years in Donegal. It's called 'Traditional Irish Dancing part 2, What to do with your arms.'

Wanderers Witzebude reloaded: 02

 Dating Rituals:

WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mum makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite oral sex.
Second Date: You get more great oral sex.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and you never get oral sex again.

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing hapens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

The POINT?
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?